'C's get degrees

I need to read more
and I should start with all the
books I bought in school

leeches.

my friendship with you
is cool like a premature
receding hairline

Hater

Radiohead and
manatees.I'm the one that's
not like the others.

"Dr.O'Dwyer
Time to get your face smashed in
with my new hammer"

~ Terrance and Philip

they un-paved this lot,
to put up a paradise.
irony abounds.

Karma may not be
instant (!) anymore, but it
served the toe stepper.

"Chin up!" she said, but
the problem is gravity.
Seems to always win.

the seinfeld chess match

sometimes i worry
i've more sperm cells then brain cells
nevermind my heart

Paying postage, waiting
to hear your ring tone, waiting
Go Go Gadget Arms!

Into hell

Unfortunately
retail corporate ladder steps
go the other way

I dreamt...

my last trip to hell
i met a quadriplegic
whore in a backpack

The Barbie Aisle

Teacher toy stores. Pink
post-its, gel pens. Valhalla
found. Office Depot.

i'm sick

you left so early
that i stayed wide, wide awake
just to feel lonely.

sugar coated death.
ribcage t-shirts. finger bone
gloves. some fashion sense.

Cassette nostalgia.
Fifteen, fists raised, faces pressed,
and fucking punk rock.

When wind tangles glass
I think of your exhaled song,
sighs sung from my touch.

there's one simple truth:
you make me feel like dancing.
the rest is bonus.

shower time fun

picking the scabs off
lateral cuts up and down
gracing my left arm

our latest fight

i wish you'd listen.
"hindsight is a bitch, you know"
i tried to warn you...

"I'm happy. Money's a
drug," said the homeless guy that
was wearing no pants.

when you hope it never will...

anticipation
breeds a hopeless desire
to know how it ends.

feeling so edgy!
medicated, in rehab.
i'm such a rock star

ruby red grapefruit
nature really got it right
looks like a hoo hoo

Force

Wood-patterned desktops
uniform as chart paper
each cell, a soldier.

don't be mad at me
if I find my inner peace
in between your thighs

"My head is like a
library, but nothing is
actually labeled."

~ Scott Gaudet

i am fairly strong
i can almost hold it all...
i might buckle soon

now, look here horace
i warned you about thinking
'the nob for the job'

I belong to no
one.Strength. I don't belong to
anyone. Weakness

bright eyed, bushy tails.
morning poetry will soon
replace morning wood.

Stumbling

My mash they words and
swounds sitch when I speak, when I
type, yet I'm teacher.

When all is said and
done, lemonade will be served
thanks to life's lemons.

life's a drag

Dear Marijuana,
It is time our love affair,
Which was great, ended.

when i got your call,
there was a worm fighting ants.
later, he was gone.

whatever you do
is the best thing to be done
because you do it.

my new best friend

she'll talk about sex.
oh yeah, she'll talk about it.
but she won't fuck you.

Your silhouette, I
can't blink it away like when
I stare at the sun.

It was all God's fault.
I can't believe when he does
not believe in me.

Sometimes I am too
tall and naked. On those days
you call me Brigitte.

:D

Would you love me any
less if I were Flava Flav
for a day? Boy-yee?

IHOP

They understand that
on Saturdays morning lasts
until the sun sets.

there's still time to start
again theres still time to start
again theres still time

popeye

i've found i'm great at
being me. and why not? i've
been me my whole life.

One side effect of
painkillers is that the user
forgets I know him.

He coddles her with
chauvinism disguised as
codes of chivalry.

Two from a fan.

Spring is nice, a taste

Of summer. I hope my next

July is with you.

Broken date, Alone

Accompanied by daydreams

He just wasn't you

--submitted by an obsessed The Haiku Year fan via e-mail.

my price isn't steep.
forty pieces of silver,
paid with interest

No thank you.

Butt sex is like Dane
Cook. Good for some, fun to watch;
it's just not my thing.

Articulate

the speed of a thought
is infinitely faster
than your reaction.

If I forget your
birthday does it mean I can
forget you were born?

I had such a good
time, that when I got back home
I named my pillow.

Time doesn't heal old
wounds. It's like a topical
cream that hides the scars.

the 1st Truth

Picasso once paid
for a meal by painting a
napkin with ketchup

Dear Haiku Year,

To avoid brain-tugs
from work, I hide here with my
insides in plain site.

and all i get is you?

how much of my life
should i have to change for you?
no more sleeping in.

Little boy come out
from behind your see-through wall.
Déjelos verle.

I wish I was the
woman you fell in love with
I miss being her

north to south. east, west
looking to find what is best.
wait. new jersey? shit.

Thoughts you've fought to lock
beneath downcast eyelashes
are betrayed in blush.

no matter how much
i shuffle the deck, it's still
me pulling the card.

Nothing important, at least.

Unlimited talk!
New plans for special people
with nothing to say!

There's no way I'll say
it to your face, but girls like
you are a disgrace.

My mouth is not a
wide enough outlet for all
that my heart throws up.

My penis this, all
the boys and girls always at
war, my penis that.

I know you were not
lonely. Diseases just find
new hosts to infect.

I need a shower
and suck. Shit. Such, I meant such.
Worst typo ever.


~ For Michael

jack nicholson, three degrees.

long drive made short by
killers, fags, con men, mobsters
to get to stallone.

I know we are girls
but there are times when we miss
beer, football and tits.

You appreciate
Ghostbusters II, for that I
appreciate you.

if i left right now,
i could make it home in time
to save sanity.

"I dream, dream, dream, but
don't look. Look, look, I dream
dream, dream, but don't look."

~ Shudder To Think "Red House"

My Pledge

I promise I will
try not to think of sex when
we make eye contact

days like this i just
wish the world would notice me
and help me this time

The sole, primary
function of arms is to hug
me and only me.

age versus wisdom:
time is not a replacement
for experience.

Rooftops for headrests
Cloud cover for comforters
Find the planet home.

cant figure it out-
perpetually homeless?
all this world is mine.

second denial
is always in the name of
a self sacrifice.

Years past the fighting
and the loss, you still pulse
madly. Phantom limb.

Put us in different
clothing and we recoil,
void of place holders.

I don't want to let
them go. Dirty shoes tell a
much better story.

i hope that it is
just as nice to be said yes
to, as to be asked.

deep within your eyes
there's a reflection from mine
and that's all it is

Sometimes, not always,
I just want the world to see
what's inside of me.

two ways to tell a
poison. one is through absence;
the other is death.

A shadow leaks from
my shoes. Next time I'll stand where
the sun can't reach me.

just keep on drinking!
you could hold it back. try it.
bruised fist lookin back

Tomorrow is no
big deal when you're not noticed
around anyway.

that time of year, huh?
alone but secure, it's true!
I love you, Michael.

Why are they so dense?
Relationship with my phone.
Why don't they get it!

Forecast is downcast
gazes, sticky-eyed hazes,
envied embraces.

"Valentine's Day's here?
Aw crap! I forgot to get
a girlfriend again!"

~ Fry, Futurama

thinking about not
writing for so long, that I
just wrote about it.

you can blame your genes!
that scientific finger
aimed at mom and dad

Lay still and B flat.
Hold your breath, suicide by
piano is quick.

You know you really
like someone when you listen
to their myspace song

Weird Kid

"No Lucky Charms or
Toast Crunch, please." I was old then.
"I'll have Basic Four."

How is it that we
always date such winners? Where
are all the losers?

freeing, catharsis
ablution, expurgation,
eradication

self-fullfilling prophecy.

i like to pretend
i have never been lied to,
except by myself.

Regarding zero,
what good is infinity
when it is nothing?

You treated. I paid.
Hush. No more coffee dates for
your guilty conscience.

"I was somebody
else, terrified to look at
me and see yourself"

~"Endless Dream" Conjure One

After a long day,
nothing is more cathartic
than killing zombies.

between god and love,
i'll allow that love might, might
might, maybe exist.

When I ask and then
talk over your reply, it
keeps you in your place.

this one is about
fear before the march of flames
so deal with it

Wal-Mart makes me feel
like I am the most beautiful
person in this town.

something so sublime
in just doing what you love
and not wasting it

You Are Your

I forget errands,
childhood friends, birthdays, but I
still know you're breathing

Happy thoughts aren't for
flying, they're for rising up
above the nonsense.

If I close my eyes
and wish real hard can I know
how it was for you?

i am so sorry
that i forgot to write one
for so many days

If I start smoking
again, my voice will someday
sound believable.

the first denial
is always in the name of
self preservation.

twenty three years down
hopefully less then half that
left for me to go

User Error

I wish computers
responded to old fashioned
corporal punishment.

Self destruction starts
with a pencil and paper.
Modify the fool.

i get so angry
but what is there i can do?
we all have problems......(?)

Balanced luck can't be.
Life's as steady as a plate
on a rolling pin.

all i really want:

three squares, a comfy bed, and a

hand to hold me down.

Vices, needles, and
little pink tablets. I'll miss
my lil' hoodrat friend.

on stage the fool for
all, History sighs, rolls its
eyes, repeats itself.

One letter

Of all the moves men
make, the knight's the one who brings
us closest to mate.

Two hours is too
long to be thinking how to
write one about you.

Handing out sex lives,
thought they said "ex-wives." I said,
"Give me a dead one."

She twitches sometimes
and bites at her bandages.
My pet, my sick self.

When the world's awake
I fall fast away from it
And hide here with you.

i have the bullet
...just missing the revolver.
still, i'm half way there.

Most that I meet are
crazy. I want to meet a
crazy that matches.

take the time to find
the keys, the codes, the passwords
to the empty vault.

Masculinity
thundercougarfalconbird
No one will question

In tiny poems
we fit concentrated thought.
I prefer fresh squeezed

Life is a tarot
deck. I play the Fool, and I
sing la-di-da-di.

Lyrics

"It is only by
the grace of me you never
learned what I could see"

~ Fiona Apple "Parting Gift"

"The truth is worse than
anything I could bring my-
self to do to you"

~ Fall Out Boy

You leave with a list
of "next times" only to find
items for new lists.

cold turkey sandwich.
bookends on failure and the
idea of need.

I told you to go
But everything you touched is
stained. You still echo.

"No! Bastard Asshole!
Get up there!" This is how Jen
plays video games.

"my vagina this..."
(i'm a man, dammit, a man)
"my vagina that..."

All things considered,
I don't want to repeat this
day over again.

nothing makes you love
something more than giving it
up. trust me, i know.

drinking in kitchen:
son thinks, suddenly, to call.
what a silly thought.

When people say you're
photogenic, they're really
praising the camera.

there's a certain smell
on the tip of my fingers
called dirty pussy

all the things they told
me would put hair on my chest
put gray on my head.

one month dead and gone
better then the past two years
next stop: frustration

Gentlemen, don't get
up, I'm just passing through. No
really, don't get up.

Memory loss and
Anti-depressants. Really,
what is the difference?

Lyrics for silent
bands. Noteless songs. We're finger-
counting composers.

I can commit to
one cup, as long as it's not
metaphor coffee.